A place of any loving parents deepest darkest despair, in some cases the ultimate killing machine where fathers are driven to suicide, lies and false allegations are dismissed but not punished, the right to being a loving parent is denied, you have to fight constantly for the smallest of contact with your child, justice doesnt exist and your children are denied their basic human rights to have a relationship with both parents. Its shrouded in secrecy, reporting restrictions and gagging orders whilst Breaking section 8 of the 1998 human rights act daily; right to a private and family life.
‘You have the right to enjoy family relationships without interference from government. This includes the right to live with your family and, where this not possible, the right to regular contact.
They say this secrecy is for the protection of the children, however anyone that has lived through or is living the trauma and outright torture of the family court knows this to be untrue. I think twice in 3 years I’ve heard our daughters name mentioned so what’s to protect and everyone that knows us, knows mum is an alienator and are disgusted by it, so there is no secrecy anyway.
Family court and all its associated organisations are businesses like any other and businesses need to generate income to survive.
In 2017, figures show the government raised £186 million from Family court and £602 million from civil courts this equates to £100 million profit after costs are deducted apparently. To add to that, Imagine whats raised by legal representation, barristers, solicitors and other organisations connected, CAFCASS, contact centres, centres for scanning and approving contact letters sent to alienated children from loving parents under court orders, BBR course centres, supposed expert witnesses, social services, better parenting courses, the child maintenance service and the rest.
Once Family court has produced hundreds of thousands of Non resident parents, who knows how many are totally innocent where there are no safeguarding issues for the child like in our case. The Child maintenance service then hound them for maintenance payments worked out from gross income even though you never see tax paid, have your own bills to pay and then add a 20 per cent collection fee so once again millions in profit is generated !
Is this deliberate or not I ask myself because it’s a win win situation and the only winners are those making millions whilst destroying children and non resident parents lives.
Unless there are serious safegaurding issues of the children involved with convictions for violence towards that child the only reason any non resident parent is dragged through such a system is outright parental alienation where one parent after seperation cannot be adult, cannot be a worthy parent and the unfounded hatred for the other parent is greater then the love of the child resulting in the child being used as the ultimate weapon, a pawn for vindictive revenge.
In our case because we all moved on happily without her 2 weeks after she left and this ate away at her for 4 months
I can only comment truthfully on my experience though after 3 years of trying to gain access to a deliberately alienated daughter trapped in the system not fit for purpose and cannot use specific details of events in court except the basics.
To me it reminds me of many years ago in school when arguing over made up rules in a game of jumpers for goalposts football or hopscotch with the girls in the playground.
Not to sound disrespectful of the court I’ll say it how it’s happened truthfully and comments based on my opinion due to the events I’ve witnessed however the truth seems to always land me in trouble the past 3 years. No one connected to family court in our case seems to like the truth or viewing evidence of it.
There are no specific rules, they change from judge to judge and hearing to hearing, false allegations and blatant lies when proved are not punished and the non resident target parent being falsely accused has to jump through hoops and agree to anything in desperate attempts for the slightest contact of any kind. If the child was the main concern cases would be concluded within the first 2 or 3 hearings and dealt with within days or weeks but no you wait for months upon end with the children living in totally hostile enviroments towards the alienated parent and in our case my entire family whilst suffering the loss of a loving parent.
Of course 50 / 50 doesn’t seem to be granted because then there’s no need for further hearings, more application fees when contact orders are broken by the alienating parent and more profit from these fees and the fees The child maintenance service impose when they become involved because 50 / 50 means no maintenance, no maintenance means no 20 per cent collection fees for a very well oiled machine !
It all began 18th january 2016 when she stopped contact deliberately after realising the kids and I were extremely happy without her then developing major issues after becoming envious of a family friend.
She even warned me that evening when collecting little one that ” if we went out with a friend and her son that night I’d never see my daughter again “
This was four months after she left to continue the 3rd affair im aware of in 23 yrs together. This time the difference was I refused to have her back .
Throughout those four months we had a 50 / 50 agreed shared care agreement in place , this was working well with mum and I barely seeing each other, 4 or 5 times to be precise. Then a month after stopping contact on 5th Feb 2015 after being coached by her new solicitor because her first one tried to keep the situation amicable and out of court, she approached the court for a Non molestation order based on 28 lies accusing me of domestic violence, a very common practice indeed to gain legal aid and defame and discredit the alienated parent immediately in family court.
There was not a shred of evidence of any kind to substantiate the very cleverly composed statement created by her solicitor. But the NMO is still granted making a mockery of both the justice system and the genuine victims of domestic abuse.
It’s all a scam to generate money for all those involved and to get the upper hand in court from the outset, the welfare of the victims (children) involved is not considered and life of the child / ren used as weapons is destroyed wilfully in the meantime. Surely, you’d think for justice to be met any application for a NMO should be backed up by evidence.
25 of these lies I could prove instantly by giving the judge my mobile phone but the court dont care because its the same court that issued the NMO in a secret hearing anyway a week earlier that I was not privileged to attend or knew anything about. More devious tricks by an unethical solicitor.
Now it seems NMOs are handed out like candy at Halloween without evidence of any kind and based on the say of a blatant liar, I’ve read hundreds of stories on social media groups with people suffering the same torment and unfair abuse by the system. Anyone who has one of these issued against them is in more deep stuff then they could ever imagine because an NMO is broken by the most innocent action of being a loving parent trying to gain some kind of contact with a emotionally abused and in our case physically abused alienated child, once An NMO or restraining order is broken all local authorities are notified and you are forever deemed a criminal or violent thug / perpetrator of domestic abuse by the entire system. All based on pathetic laws and no evidence.
I thought i got lucky in a way at the outset and I’d be granted our daughter, however soon discovered I couldnt be more mistaken because it’s family court.
The NMO against me was discarded a week later when at my 1st appearance i requested a hearing of facts immediately causing her and her legal rep to panic because the during week whilst I was at work she entered the former family home, downloaded all the evidence and statements I’d prepared therefore knowing i could prove each and every lie. She then changed passwords to the family pc after deleting all my hard work. Yes this is the deviousness I’m dealing with.
I proceeded to follow very poor and deliberate advice from my former solicitor and barrister ( to create more income by delaying the case from the outset ) after they talked me out of requesting a hearing of facts with the usual ” I know what I’m doing, I’ve been doing this for 30 years” speech that any desperate father would believe at the outset. ( I’ll talk about this in another blog at a later date )
Instead of the hearing of facts an undertaking and a cross undertaking were agreed and sworn to. Basically this is a promise to a judge that you haven’t done anything accused of whether false or not and if you do it within a set period they can incarcerate you. This is where the farce begins because in my eyes by taking a cross undertaking she’s just admitted shes lied in her original statement.
Why would you spend £1500 to £2000 having a solicitor compose a statement of lies gaining an NMO then have it deliberately dismissed and thrown in the bin a week later if you wasnt lying ?
Anyway I’m informed in family court ” you are innocent until proven guilty” great I’m thinking ” can I see my daughter then ? ” I ask, but the courts actions and words completely contradict each other ” no you can’t, because of the nature of the allegations they will have to be investigated before direct contact is granted” despite the fact the statement of false allegations and the NMO have just become null and void and dismissed 5 minutes earlier ! Cafcass are ordered to carry out a section 7 report which itself is a completely different story, again for another day.
I’m am allowed phone contact temporarily though 3 times a week. After 5 calls the alienator antagonises them deliberately and then stops them therefore breaking the very 1st court order. Every other day when the call is denied i send a polite email ” please turn our daughters phone on as per the judges order x” 6 in all and 4 regarding the elder boys who live with me and the division of the house etc.
Like 1000s of others I’m soon to be arrested for harassment for being a loving alienated father and sending the 6 emails. According to court and CAFCASS FCA this is domestic violence proving how pathetic the whole situation is, she breaks a court order I try and talk to her politely I’m treated worse than an animal being sent to slaughter. Apparently what I should have done is filled out the relevant forms paid the relevant fees £150 plus each time and waited the usual months for a hearing for the court to sort out regardless she had broken the first court order already and never been punished for it. Again The alienator seems to have been rewarded and treated like a poor defenceless victim due to her practiced crocodile tears and clever manipulation that is coached by legal teams. Forget the fact she has a history of violent abuse towards both our daughter and I and I’ve already dropped charges for ABH I’m now the violent abuser for the attached emails.
The manipulation of the court room seems as easy as boiling water. The Crocodile tears are a major weapon in court alongside the sentence ” id love him to have a relationship with our daughter” very machavellian or narcissistic but it seems to work everytime, several times I’ve witnessed her barrister tap her leg under the table each time the judge begins to direct a question at her and in a well practiced manor she instantly bursts into tears and before the first tear leaves her eye he is already reaching for the predominantly positioned box of tissues on the table in front of him and passes to her. The sympathy is instant, throughout numerous hearings and sitting in front of various deputy district judges, only one seems to see through this nonsense and charade, in fact he asks several times in one sitting if she is a vindictive person. He cannot understand the acrimony. He’s obviously done his job correctly and read every detail in statements and viewed the evidence submitted and sees the situation for what it is however sadly this hearing was not child related. He’s the same guy whilst during conversation after another hearing where her solicitor lied on the phone to him 7 times and she blatantly lied in an email that morning politely apologises for me not seeing our daughter because of court and its obvious shes a vindictive person then states in his opinion CAFCASS shouldn’t be allowed in or near a court room ever . Wow i wished this judge dealt with our childs case, id have full custody and mum would be being punished for the alienation and the violent assaults on our daughter and I.
Yes I’ve been violently assaulted as has our daughter and the FCA assigned to our case after viewing it and police reports regarding it refused deliberately to mention in her reports or in the court room because I commented on her childish unproffessionalism.
Nearly 3 years, nearly a dozen hearings and not once has any evidence which includes police reports where shes made over 50 false allegations, videos of my daughter violently attacked, videos of me violently assaulted, historic photos of the violence ive suffered at the hands of mum the past 5 years has ever been viewed except a very inaccurate section 7 report composed by a corrupt FCA. Corrupt is a strong word but totally true, she admitted she based her reports on her personal opinions and experiences and not the overwhelming evidence she took from me or viewed at my home and admitted at the last hearing she was going to recommend no direct contact because i had previously complained about her. Yes she admitted it to me then denied it obviously when I made a further complaint.
Even our prime minister Theresa May when shadow secretary of state declared CAFCASS not fit for purpose and the conservatives would abolish them when coming to power. The problem is politicians either have no power when it comes to it or family court earns the government too much revenue to be changed in anyway. However if they realised how many hundreds of thousands of votes they’d get they’d no doubt get involved. Crossing toll fees are more important to my local MP than the destruction of childrens lives.
Mine and the childrens lives became hours of me in police cells based on false allegations, police reports filed about me for breaking a non existent NMO damaging my reputation further, Months of waiting between hearings, cancellations the day before after waiting those months so you have to wait for months again. 6 months between one cancellation. Then when the day of a hearing arrives its a total waste of time, twenty minutes of the same or fresh allegations to delay matters further and all the time your child is being alienated further by the hostile parent and their entire family and the small army of flying monkeys that cause trouble who have only heard one side of a story and refuse to listen to both. So it’s not just the child brainwashed it’s the idiots around them permanently.
You prove one false allegation after another to be exactly that, false but the court doesn’t seem to care, don’t punish and don’t persecute the accuser. They persecute You instead, why You ask yourself. Simple , because You are the non resident parent. You request hair folicle drug test because of another new allegation made to discredit you, also requesting your child be tested because shes permanently being left in an enviroment where marijuana is smoked constantly. The accusers legal team back track immediately after hearing you want your child tested as well and admit the accusation was based on rumour and they expanded it to discredit you. Again the court dont reprimand, punish or care even though they’ve basically just admitted lying. All the judge says is ” this is not good enough the accusations without evidence must stop! ”
At moments like this you realise all those stories youve read when doing research are true, the system really isn’t fit for purpose and its ruled by unethical solicitors and barrister causing emotions and frustration to kick in and run riot in your head. Then the supposed experts who are not adequately trained in psychology or mental health issues jump on the band wagon and accuse you of having mental health issues because you know the truth and see the charade for what it is and become frustrated.
You agree to be tested for mental health issues because at this point you are still agreeing to anything in the desperate hope that it will get you one step closer to your broken child. After 3 or 4 sessions the shrink tells you you are perfectly sound of mind, just frustrated at the situation but you should be fuming, she can’t understand why you haven’t got angry and kicked doors down, made threats, hurt someone because apparently anger and rage are the most commonly used human emotion worldwide. She’s asks why I haven’t ? and I explain ” it won’t get me anywhere apart from prison” so she informs you there’s no need for further visits and gives you a report stating you have no mental health issues and perfectly sane, this good report is totally ignored in court because it’s not what they want to hear
The FCA recommends because I got charged with ‘ Harrasment without violence ” for the 6 emails asking for our daughters phone to be switched on, I should do the CAFCASS BBR course. A joke in itself because this is a course designed for violent offenders and perpetrators of domestic abuse and i have no record, history or even reports of any violence in my life but you agree yet again because you believe it’s another step closer to your alienated child. Even the charge sheet states ‘ harassment without violence’ so why recommend a course for violent offenders ?
At interview you are told ” you are not suitable because it’s for violent offenders and perpetrators of violent domestic abuse who are sent via the magistrates court not via CAFCASS and you wont admit you have been violent ! “
I’d do anything for my children but I’m not going to ever admit to doing something I haven’t done, especially being a violent thug abusing the mother of my children. This it seems is my problem and a major problem in family court, the fact I wont bow down, I won’t toe the line and admit to monstrosities they expect me to admit to just because of false allegations or they want me to because they are the judge, jury and only witnesses to what goes on behind closed doors and because an inadequately trained crooked FCA has said it’s so. If you don’t agree and you argue your case that you are innocent of any wrong doing towards the child ( which I haven’t) , you insist or argue that they should view the overwhelming evidence that you have submitted numerous times over 3 years and waited patiently for it to be viewed and justice served, you tell them the FCA has a conflict of interest because you complained about her 18 months earlier for her childish actions and lack of professionalism. They dont care and because you state it how it truly is you are treated like you’ve started an uprising and a naughty child arguing back.
Don’t agree and you are punished and that punishment is the ultimate. It is contact denied with a once loving child that is now left in the hostile environment so hostile to you, they end up further damaged, brainwashed into believing you are such a monster , mum manhandles her away violently every time your seen in passing but she terrified to tell the truth when spoken to by so called experts who have also only heard mum’s side, shes also been indoctrinated into believimg the judge will incarcerate her as well and she’s so terrified of this also and that physical abuse she receives when you are seen or spoken about she is now terrified to even acknowledge or wave at you in passing. So the court room is now aiding the alienation and adding to the emotional abuse and punishing the very child they claim they are protecting by the own actions! Parental alienation is child abuse.
All this, For what because an alienator is cleverly coached to manipulate domestic violence laws, the police and the court room in a game of chess to make money by those involved and to alienate you further.
At our last hearing when requesting several times ” what safeguarding issues the court deem fit to deprive our daughter a relationship with her father ?” I was informed by the judge ” there are none and the issue was my relationship with the mother ” laughable and pathetic, you insist as you have done so many bloody times, you don’t care what the mother does and if evidence was viewed and listened to they would see you’ve begged the mother to go away leave you alone and wished her luck and it’s the mother manipulating the system from the outset.
Again Proving family court don’t seem to care, you attempt to explain one last time, if I could see our daughter there would be no issues or the high conflict that cafcass love to quote so freely between you and the mother. She is deliberately alienating our daughter, creating the implacable hostility herself and manipulating the system. They will never agree with you on this or would it ever be admitted by the court because then they have to admit they’ve been manipulated for nearly three years as do the police . Each and every time the mother hears this the crocodile tears appear again immediately and again she tells every judge in front of her ” id love him to have a relationship with our daughter’ a blatant lie because she walks out of court laughing because she knows she’s just fooled another court room and another judge.
It doesn’t matter that I have overwhelming proof I’ve begged her to leave me alone since she left because I wish nothing to do with her or she has a history of violence towards the child and I, ive done nothing wrong and the judge has just told me there are no safegaurding issues between the child and I, you are still denied contact !
The case is pure and simple Parental alienation – where the unfounded hatred of an ex partner is greater then the love of the child. That child is then used as a weapon and family court actions seem to aid thus by allowing it to continue.
You can prove the alienation began a week after the police told her to stay away from the family home because you’re in fear for your safety and possibly life after the violent assault you caught on video leaving you with a two inch long action man scar. The same video the court has refused to watch throughout 3 years then theres the video of my 8 year old daughter violently assaulted because she wanted daddy, one of many violent assaults that cafcass and the court have refused to Investigate. This is how family court works, it doesn’t care about the truth or justice or the fact a minor has been left full time in the care of a mother who has a history of violence and mental health issues.
The judge just informs me I should have paid a solicitor and barrister to sit in front of her because I don’t seem to understand the law. No I may not be trained in court room etiquette but I do know the truth and why on earth should I pay a barrister to tell it or attempt to get the court to listen to it. “I wasted nearly twenty thousand on solicitors and barristers at the outset and got no closer to our daughter your honour” Also I get 2 or 3 comments about ‘ I should pay the relevant fees and fill out relevant forms’ due to the opposition breaking court orders proving once again it’s about creating revenue and nothing to do with the welfare of our daughter.
The saddest part is Throughout the 3 years in this situation I’ve spoken to several adults who were our daughter, alienated children and listened to the horror stories of how they lived, they are all identical, crying themselves to sleep of a night, the daily thoughts of ” why doesn’t daddy / mummy love me, why don’t they want me ? ” and this occurs year upon year apparently and left them emotionally damaged with permanent scars throughout the rest of their lives. When you have a 45 year old man from a prize fighting, kick boxing background break down sobbing uncontrollably on your sofa because he was your daughter alienated from his father for 18 years by his mother and he’s never forgotten the nightmares he lived through wondering why dad didnt love him and what he did to make that happen, you know your daughter is going to be damaged forever and the very system created to protect them encourages and aids it
This makes me often wonder if there is one judge that has ever met an adult or two that spent there lives alienated and denied a relationship with one parent as a child and listened to the horror story they lived through and can never forget.
And if they had would it change their opinion of the system they work in that wilfully destroys the lives of innocent children!
Family court use court advisors from cafcass to make recommedations regarding these issues and according to Anthony Douglas the chief executive of CAFCASS parental alienation is common in lots of cases, it’s the severest form of child abuse but then went on to admit his staff are not trained to recognise PA. How the hell can an fca whom is insufficiently trained be ordered to carry out reports if the cannot even recognise the signs or understand that they are requested to report on!
I wait 11 months for a hearing date after an appeal hearing was granted.
Her solicitor who now just primes the court and prepares paperwork but doesn’t appear has been very busy.
She has been granted special measures, an absolute joke in itself, as for the past 3 years I’ve been begging the police to help with the harassment, her arriving wherever she hears i am, stalking me and hanging around feet away from me like a bad stench trying to goad a reaction, now shes ushered in ahead of me and placed behind a screen , my god shes amazing at playing the victim and deceiving the system and its fell for everytime.
My appeal is not granted on no merit because I didnt write the one letter a month to our daughter and apparently keep going over old stuff thats been dealt with ” No it hasnt never in two and a half years , i have proof of 2 corrupt fcas, evidence of extreme violence that’s never been viewed and the hearing of facts that I’m entitled to by law was cancelled 11 months earlier therefore never being allowed to cross examine the accuser or the corrupt FCA who has admitted a recommendation of no contact because i complained about her was followed to the letter by the deputy district judge .
Now I can’t apply to the court again to see my daughter for a minimum of another 6 months until I have written 1 letter a month that will never reach our daughter . And then quote ” fill out the relevant forms, pay the relevant fees and apply for contact again “
This is my own fault because I hadn’t wrote the letters and when asked why not, I tried explaining to the presiding judge that I hate myself for not doing so but I just couldn’t, each and every time I tried to write to my precious daughter I ended up a blubbering wreck surrounded by a pile of scrunched up balls around me because family court has denied contact for two and a half years , she is totally alienated and I break down everytime. Yes sounds pathetic but when you’ve been grieving for a child that lives a mile up the road for 990 days that letter is not easy especially when you are not allowed to use certain phrases ” I love you’ ” i miss You’ etc. and you know these letters are never going to reach your daughter because the alienator is untouchable in court and will just rip them up or return them like the pile of christmas and birthday presents and cards it’s returned that sit awaiting the day your precious daughter returns.
So now it looks like I’ve got another 2 or 3 years of no direct contact whilst my daughter is brainwashed and abused and alienated further like my stepson was for 23 years because hes never known his father because of the same lies and allegations. Then when it is time to reapply the court will decide whether I have to partake in the 6 month BBR Course for sending the 6 emails or a contact centre.
Therefore another father driven to the verge of suicidal thoughts knowing he’s going to miss another two years of his daughters life because the mother has mental health issues, deliberately alienates and the courtroom encourage it
So the question is ; is family court a money making buisness destroying innocent lives and families to raise a fortune in revenue or is it really there to protect the children ? The answer is obvious it creates non resident parents with no contact of any kind to keep the wheels oiled and profits rolling in from all directions.